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3 Tips for Cultivating Inner Composure

Life Coach Perth

3 Postures you can take to assist you in cultivating inner composure

What is composure?

It is the feeling of being calm, confident and in charge of oneself and ones emotions.

As I begin to write to you about composure…I lean forward and drop my cup of tea all over the floor!!

This may seem like a small occurrence in the scheme of a rich, full and complex daily life, but it is my response that supports the subject of composure!

I was SO gratified in that moment to noticed my natural inner response….

There was not a skerrick of inner disturbance!

No rise in heart rate, no leaping back as if a snake was about to attack me, no inner dialogue of disappointment and NO self-flagellation. 

This is actually not small.

Why cultivate composure?

Our daily lives are made up of MANY of the above moments.

How we respond affects our:

* Relationships

* Energy levels

* Well-being and health

* Sense of purpose, meaning and progress (especially for those on a spiritual path)

* Confidence

My seemingly automatic composed response did not “just happen”.

Not even close – I have had to work with a personality that is anxious and neurotic.

This response has taken practice over time – gentle, consistent, deliberate practice.

Composure is not present for me under all circumstances! However, it does now arrive more naturally under many more situations. A speedy return to composure happens under an even broader range of circumstances.

Shifting the percentage of time spent in this more mature emotional state has numerous and tangible positive effects on all of the above areas of life.

How do you go about cultivating composure?

Here are 3 ‘inner postures’ that you may feel inspired to adopt:

1. Acknowledge that emotions are temporary –  They come and go more smoothly if we don’t attach a psychological story to them. Take a pause, take some breaths and let the emotions settle a little before responding to the situation. Our response will likely then be more intelligent, kinder and more mature

  • You can also access our free guide titled “The State of Ease” here. This guide gives you a great foundation in cultivating composure

2. Life is rich, full and happening in exactly the way it is happening! – It is our arbitrary opinion about how life should unfold and how people should behave that causes us the most suffering.

This threatens our composure if things appear differently. Respect that life is majestic, magnificent and an intelligently organised mystery.

Commit to accepting the moments of life as they unfold and respond with respect and humility. This is an incredibly powerful posture to take in life. 

  • You can also access our free 10 minute guided meditation titled “The Practice of No Opinion” here.

3. Kindness is more important than being right – Under times of duress, it can be difficult to stay connected with our core values and we can react rather than respond.

If you DO value kindness towards yourself and others – start to affirm a commitment to this quality every day.

* Put up post it notes with inspiring quotes

* Set ‘kindness alarms’ through the day where you breathe and connect with the quality of kindness

* Daily kindness focused guided meditations are also powerful and when you feel yourself wanting to go on the defensive or attack, verbally remind yourself that it is more important to be kind than to be right! 

In Conclusion

Composure isn’t a naturally sustaining state for most of us. It needs to be deliberately, earnestly and consistently cultivated. Take just one of these postures and work on it for the next month. You will be so relieved that you did (and so will all those around you!).

Read our post talking about rituals to live more consciously.

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